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Why don't you feel guilty?

Updated: Nov 24

During my most recent visit to my grandma's she shared a story with me that I want to share with you.


I want to share because it perfectly depicts both the power of our beliefs & the consequences of them.


As a clinical counsellor & hypnotherapist understanding the how & why people are the way they are is a part of my job & skill set. When we unearth our core limiting beliefs and adapt them, there is a natural cascading effect of positive changes to the way we think, & feel, & act.


Here’s an example of someone who may not have had the chance to do that work.


My grandma needed to have some electrical work done on her home. She had 3 different electricians come to give her a quote. One of those persons was an elderly man. Whilst at her home he asked the following question, “Don't you feel guilty for not working?” My grandma, who is 90 years old, responded by saying “I don't know what you think I would be doing or who would hire me, but regardless, no, I do not feel guilty for not working.”


He responded by expressing to her that he was 79 years old and still working. He wasn't him expressing his pride or joy about still being able to work. His remarks centred on his sense of duty to the workforce and expressed his confusion about her lack of guilt.


Now, I know that we all experience and perceive the world differently based on the values, beliefs, and ideologies we hold, but to struggle to grasp why a 90 year old women doesn't feel guilty for being retired from the work force seems wild to me.


What this man did during that exchange was reveal his beliefs, his programming, his values, about work, and himself. This story stuck with me. My grandma chose to share it with me because she found it to be a bizarre & comical interaction. For me, as a clinical counsellor, I thought deeper about it and in doing so I felt sadness. When I hear this story I hear that this person is someone who has a maladaptive belief that is preventing them from being at peace with resting and it's unlikely this person is consciously aware of this unconscious pattern.


Although I can't do anything for this man, I am grateful to be of a time where more & more people are becoming aware of their unconscious programming & have the privilege to address them.





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